Porkers Place
Where everyone knows he’s a %$*^!
WTF is this?
Well, as you’ve found this shitty little page on the internet you’ve either stumbled across it by accident looking for pig porn ya dorty fucker, or you know me or know someone that does, and are looking for information about a private gig in a fat mans conservatory.
If it’s for the later then please read on…
What’s on?
Thursday 5th December 2024 we’ll see acoustic sets from Tom Holliston and Simon Wells as well as Jebote kicking it all off around half seven!
There’s little point me writing a load of bollox about what they’ve done as I’m presuming you already know they played in some amazing bands and written some top songs.
Don’t miss this hyper personal gig and a reason to catch up with friends, get pissed and talk shit 🙂
Shit You Need t0 Know!!!!
What time will it start / end?
Things should start between half seven and eight but as we all know it’s a punk thing so fuck knows really. Just aim to there around then and hopefully it’ll be going as we’re trying to wrap it all up by 11-ish.
How much will it cost?
We’re not forcing anyone to pay but asking people to make a donation which will go to the musicians playing. £10 seems fair but if you really can’t afford that then whatever you can is fine. They’ll be a bucket / container to put donations in so bring some cash with you.
Where the fuck is it?
So, this is the really important bit!!!! To help minimise the impact I’ve drawn up a little guide.
- GETTING HERE: If driving, when in Blidworth drive up the main “Mansfield Road” and turn right onto Belle Vue Lane as it cuts out all the rat runs. If you need booze stop off at the “Beer Cave” (see booze info). There’s a 141 Stagecoach bus from Notts but I’m not sure how late it runs????
- DO NOT PARK on the road outside as it’ll be a nightmare. Park on Belle Vue Lane from this point forward on the left hand side (click on map below)
- IT’S NOT THE HOUSE ON THE CORNER!! (see map below and what3words)
Porker Place what3words (DO NOT PARK HERE!)
Where’s the best place to get booze?
I’m glad you asked. There’s an awesome “Beer Cave” on the main Mansfield Road next to the Chippeh. It’s got a lot better choice than the other places and will appreciate your custom. Here’s the the details:
Blidworth Post Office, Mansfield Rd, Blidworth, Mansfield. NG21 0PN
Will cunts be tolerated?
Speaking as one of the biggest bellends on the planet we will be as accommodating and friendly but anyone being a cunt will be dealt with. I apologies in advance if it’s me 😉
Porkers Place will hopefully generate “a scary but exciting feeling, like stealing porn from a local newsagent as a teenager” – G.Salt
Can I crash?
If you know me well and I’ve crashed at yours then of course you can, just bring a sleeping bag and find some floor space.
I’ll try and accommodate as many people as I can but if you’ve not contacted me and driven maybe plan to crash in your car (bring extra covers to keep warm) just in case space gets limited. I’m sure I’ll be able to sort something out.
Why Porkers Place?
Obviously, it’s a play on my name combined with the fact I’m now a middle aged fat man who’s really let himself go and prime heart attack material.
However “Porker” actually came from a friends dad, George Barrett, who used to run The Ollerton Darts Open and in a packed darts event decided to call me for my next match over a loud PA system…
“Jason PORKER on board 2
Yes, that’s Jason PORKER!
Anyone seen Jason PORKER?“
Cheers George 🙂